A welcome addition - with a bang!

Yesterday morning I had a bit of a shock!

I was getting ready for work, hubby was in the bathroom, and his phone goes off.  I checked it, it was my brother-in-law, he'd rang twice.  I rang him back, no answer.  Weird.  Jokingly I said "Maybe they're having a baby now!"

My sister-in-law (SIL) was due last Monday but if they baby hadn't come by today, they were going into hospital to get induced.  My SIL and I had worked out what was happening with my nephew who goes to school with my daughter, and the plan was that he stay with us.

So I got into my car and my SIL calls me, hangs up.  I call her back, no reply.  I only drive another 50m down the road and hubby calls.  "They just had a baby at home, on the floor!  There's no ambulance or anything, can you go over?"

"OMG!" I said, and did an about turn, and headed to their house.  I rang work to tell them I would be a bit late, and rushed to their house.

Fortunately, everything had gone well, but it was a bit of a shock.  She had woken up with some pain, and told my brother-in-law that they were 5 minutes apart.  He didn't know you could call 000 from your mobile phone (that's our emergency dial number in Australia) and so he went downstairs to make the phone call.  My sis-in-law yelled out "The baby's coming!  The baby's coming out!"  and my brother-in-law thought "Yeah right, not that quick," but a minute later he heard a baby crying.  He told me he was a bit stunned - he wanted to go up and see the baby but he was on the phone to the ambulance!  He wished that he had helped  deliver his own son.

By the time I arrived the paramedics had arrived and they had packed her up in a stretcher.  I took my new nephew from my SIL and did a quick check and he seemed fine - good tone, good colour, breathing was a bit grunty but no sucking in of the chest, and his heart beat was good.  I hugged my SIL telling her how clever she was and quickly went to put on my shoes and ran out with the baby in my arms to give it back to her in the ambulance (I went out the side door, they took her out the back door).  I took a photo of her and the baby and of us and the baby and then I was all grins and smiles as I drove to work as I relayed the exciting story of my nephew's entry into the world to all my workmates.

My SIL told me that it was so quick - she woke up, and had the contractions and she timed it, and they were close together, she went to the toilet, her waters broke and then she felt like she needed to push and 1 or 2 contractions later, she had a baby.  All up - 7 contractions.  She couldn't believe it. And she said it was about 10-15 minutes from pain to baby.  So quick she couldn't even get in the car to get to hospital.

We visited her later that evening with all the kids, and she was so happy to see all the kids, and I asked her a bit more about it.  She said that she went to the toilet and her waters broke and then she stood up and she felt the head coming!  She tried to awkwardly catch the head while standing/squatting and she said it was so strange, she felt the hair, it didn't seem real!  There was blood all over the floor, and then he was out, and she was holding the baby.

Her screams had woken up her son who walked out sleepily to the bathroom and he saw his mum holding the baby.  He asked her why there was blood on the floor.  My SIL told him to go to the drawer and get the blanket for the baby and he did and he handed it to her.  She wrapped the baby and by that time her hubby had come back upstairs to the spectacle.

He told me that she looked like Daenarys Stormborn with her baby dragons, when he saw her kneeling there on the floor with a baby in her hands.  He wished that he had hung up on 000 so that he could have seen the birth of his own son.  I felt bad for him, I imagine that would have been so miraculous for him to see.

But I am an aunty again!  I have been so excited all day and it's always wonderful to have such a happy miracle occur in such an amazing way.

New Vaccination Laws in NSW

Recently the government introduced some tough new vaccination laws.  Under the new laws, unvaccinated children will be excluded from child care centres unless they can provide evidence from their GPs why their children cannot be vaccinated OR for religious reasons, the child cannot be vaccinated.

This has sparked a huge debate, and there are many opinions about this matter.

What is interesting is what some people have done to exploit loopholes in this system.

Recently in the news, a group of anti-vaccination campaigners have decided to create their own religion to use this loophole to circumvent the government's new law.  This will negate the government's attempt to boost public health awareness in preventable diseases.

Why are people refusing to vaccinate?

1. In 1998, Andrew Wakefield published a paper in the Lancet suggesting a link between the MMR vaccine and autism.  This was later found to be fraudulent, with Wakefield found to have fixed and manipulated data, as well as having a conflict of interest in publishing the paper by receiving £55000 from lawyers looking for evidence against vaccine manufacturers.  Since then, there have been multiple research papers with no link between autism and the MMR vaccine.
2. Herd immunity - if the vaccination rate is 95% then the 5% who are not vaccinated will be protected.  This is often the case for cancer patients and young babies as their immunity is low and it is they who will be put at risk.  If everyone is immune, then they will be protected as the disease will be unable to get a foothold.  Those parents who choose not to vaccinate believe that the herd immunity will help protect their child, which is probably true.
3. Building immunity naturally without chemicals and toxins.  Vaccines used to contain heavy metals, formaldehyde - things which nobody would want injected into them.  Our body was made with an immune system to fight disease - we should use it.  (though it's funny - vaccines stimulate your immune system to fight the disease, not give immunity passively)
4. Belief that vaccines don't work.

I am a health care professional, so perhaps my opinion is skewed.  Of course I will be a believer in the modern vaccine.  Giving your child a weak strain of a disease so that they can build up immunity to the strong strain is a great advance in modern medicine.

Measles is a childhood illness but the most serious complications can be panencephalitis (infection of the brain) which can cause permanent brain damage or death.  The risk of that is low - maybe 1:100,000.  It can also cause pneumonia which is very serious in adults - in 1920, the death rate from measles pneumonia was 30%. Of course with modern medicine that would be a lot less.

Mumps is generally a benign illness but can cause unilateral deafness in 1:2000 patients.  Panencephalitis can also occur.

Rubella is not a serious illness in childhood, but it causes significant problems in pregnancy.  Rubella is responsible for stillbirth in early pregnancy, and significant congenital defects in the heart, brain, eyes and ears, resulting in congenital heart defects, congenital cataracts, and deafness.  The vaccine was mainly developed to prevent infection during pregnancy.

I am not sure that restricting unvaccinated from childcare is the correct decision.  I agree that reducing their welfare payments for unvaccinated children as well as increasing health insurance premiums would be a better way to deal with the problem.  Drop the child care rebate for unvaccinated children.  They can still go to childcare but the government isn't going to help pay for them to go when they are disregarding publich health and safety.  The unvaccinated child should have the same rights as a vaccinated one - but just as we cannot force people to drive with their headlights on, we should be aware that they are compromising the safety of others, and they should be penalised for that.

I remember the case of the 4 week old baby who died from whooping cough in one of the lowest areas of vaccination in the state - that was 4 years ago.  That news item prompted a big push for vaccination. However, what I did not realise is that the anti-vaccinaters had a hate compaign against that family, who had already suffered enough.  Some of the comments or letters they received included:

• "harden the f*** up"
• "I could walk through a ward of babies dying of whooping cough or any other infectious disease and it would not affect my decision to vaccinate my children."

It must be hard enough to lose your own child without having to endure this insensitive barrage as well.

They are not the only ones.  Another father, whose son died of chicken pox, was rung by anti-vaccination campaigners who said this:

• His son must have been weak, to have succumbed to such a harmless disease.  These things are a matter of survival of the fittest.

I urge everyone, to consider vaccinating your child - if not for their own safety, for the safety of others - including your own unborn children.

Injuring Children who aren't your own

It's a big enough responsibility when you are looking after someone else's children, but the guilt that you feel when you do something bad to them makes you feel terrible!

Within a week, 2 such incidents occurred.  One was ME doing it to someone else's child and the other was someone doing it to MY child.

I went to the Sydney Royal Easter Show on the weekend, and every year I take my kids and last year I took my nephew.  He really enjoyed it so I thought it would be nice to take him again this year.  It was going to be fun, we would go on rides, go see the animals, look at the stalls and arts and crafts, eat crappy food, all that stuff you love to do at the Easter Show.

My nephew, O, has multiple allergies, some of which are severe.  I am usually very careful what I give him.  I know he is allergic to wheat/gluten, chicken, cow's milk, eggs, nuts, but I didn't know/forgot that he was allergic to fish.  He has an epipen (injectable adrenaline) and has been to hospital with severe facial swelling after exposure to his allergens.

My first stop at the Easter show is usually the Woolworths Pavilion.  I love looking at the food there and buying our snacks for the day.  We bought honeyed macadamias and I told my kids E and J not to give any to O.  He had all his own food packed in his bag including apples, sushi rice with pork, fruit sticks, special biscuits and water.  I fed him some of his own food.  Then we bought donuts, and when E offered some to O, I told her no, he can't eat that.  Then we had some beef bulgogi, yoghurt... all these things O can't eat.  I walked past a sushi stall and bought some salmon nigiri sushi for the kids.  Hubby said to me I could share that with O.

I went to offer it to O and he told me he can't eat fish.  I didn't know he was allergic to it.  I took the fish off and gave him the rice.  He took 2 bites.  Then within a minute, he complained he was itchy, and was scratching his mouth.  I didn't realise he was allergic to fish, so I checked him, wondering if he had gotten contaminated with nuts that I had eaten.  No airway swelling but his lip was starting to swell.  I rang O's mum and she told me he had SEVERE fish allergy.  I was horrified.  She told me she had forgotten to pack his antihistamines and I should give some to him and if he didn't get better within 30 minutes he should go home. I told hubby and HK to watch the kids while I ran to get antihistamines from the chemist just around the corner at the Easter Show.  O took his medicine and we all sat eating our lunch whilst I watched him  His lip was now very swollen on the left side and he had itchy lumps/hives forming around his mouth.  His left eye was getting swollen and also had small allergic lumps.  He was still itchy but no tongue swelling.  I told him he should walk only with me because I had to watch him (and I was paranoid he'd have a swollen airway and the only person who could look after him then would be me) but within half an hour the hives had gone and the swelling remained but the eye swelling went down. The itchiness subsided as well.  I felt SO bad.  I am usually so careful with him!  I apologised profusely to his parents at the end of the day (we were out at the show for about 7 hours) and they reassured me everything was ok.  But I still felt bad!

Then yesterday, my sister R and her husband S were looking after the kids after school and one of S's fave games with my son J is to drop him on the couch.  They love that game.  So they were playing that and Uncle S was a little to far to the right and brought him crashing down onto the arm of the chair, knocking J's head with a resounding thump that was frightening.  Instantly J was crying and an egg sized lump was on the back of his head.  J was crying most of the evening in pain and would cry any time anyone tried to touch it.  S felt so terrible, and so did my sister, they nearly cried.  I quickly checked J, he hadn't lost consciousness when hit in the head and his gait was still steady and his pupils were equal and reactive, so I wasn't too worried about him.  A cracked skull would probably be the worst thing and that would be treated conservatively anyway.  J had difficulty sleeping because he couldn't lie down on that part of his head, but once he got comfortable on his side, he slept soundly all night.  I slept with him to make sure he didn't have some kind of head injury and die in his sleep but he was bright and chirpy this morning as if nothing had happened.  My sister and brother in law had a bad night worrying about J so they didn't sleep well.

I think it's important to be up front and honest if you do something to someone else's child.  Hiding or not mentioning it is like lying, and if you lose trust in the people who are caring for your child or they lose trust in you, then it's never going to be good.  Fortunately both times nothing truly horrible happened so it was ok.  But.. it can happen to anyone!

Childhood Memory: Last Day with Nanny M

It was the kids last day with Nanny M.  We knew this day was coming, and it seems so strange that after almost 3 years, they won't be going to her house anymore.  Hubby brought flowers for her, so that the kids could give it to her.

She texted me saying Thank You for the flowers, and she went inside after the kids were gone and had a little cry.  Awww!  I knew she would miss them, they love going to her house, and she talks about my children as if they were her own, proudly showing off pictures of what they had been up to and what they are doing.  People at work would often tell me stories of my own children, and I felt so lucky that I had someone who cared so much about my children, being involved in their care, and that they also loved her and cherished her in their own way in return.

All the bags of clothes we had to take back!  And the car seats!

However, she and I know that it's not like she will never see them again.  We will drop them at her house for a few hours to play so we can go and watch a movie at the awesome cinemas near her place.  I think she'd like that.  In fact I know she would, and the kids would too.

I have thanked her many times, profusely, for the great care she has taken of my kids.  But I just wanted to write it out again here, so I can remember, on their last day officially with her, just how much she loved them.

(This post was written in January but somehow never got published!)

Realising your child has learning difficulties

It's funny, because I have been so focussed on my son's lack of talking that I haven't paid that much attention to my daughter's prowess.  I thought she was totally fine, an intelligent little girl, who learned to speak at an early age, and sing the national anthem at age 2.  She could do her alphabet and numbers from an early age, and we would read books and she learned to recognise words but I noticed she would often do predictive wording - saying the word without really reading it, but saying what she thought it should be.

She didn't really like daycare but she was having difficulty following instructions so I thought it was good for her.  And then she started Kindergarten and she really loves going to school.  She loves to show me her books from school and her new words books.

However, she has always had difficulty with phonetics.  Even when I tried to teach her she couldn't do it last year, I thought she would grow out of it.  She can do simple phonetics for each one of letter of the alphabet, but she couldn't join the phonetics together.  I thought it was her being stubborn, but I realised tonight when I was trying to do her words with her that she really struggled with it.  And she got bored when she kept getting them wrong.

It dawned on me, does my daughter have dyslexia?

Dyslexia does not mean you're retarded. Wikipedia defines it as:

Dyslexia is a very broad term defining a learning disability that impairs a person's fluency or comprehension accuracy in being able to read, and which can manifest itself as a difficulty with phonological awareness, phonological decoding, processing speed, orthographic coding, auditory short-term memory, language skills/verbal comprehension, and/or rapid naming.

At first, I was a bit shocked.  My daughter, who is the progeny of two intelligent parents, has a learning difficulty?  Then I shook myself.  It doesn't mean my daughter is stupid.  It just means that she learns differently.

However, my own relatives think I am being paranoid.  My husband thinks our daughter is just mucking around.  I can imagine that my own mother would say that I haven't been encouraging her properly.  However, I can see that if I don't intervene soon and make it easier for her, she will be left behind and then she will not enjoy school anymore.  She told me today, when we were reading, that she didn't want to do the hard words, only the easy ones.  I told her that all words are easy once she learns them.

So, I have a meeting with her teacher on Thursday.  It's probably nothing to do with dyslexia, it may have something to do with her testing that she did early in the year.  But whatever it is, I think it's important that I have an active role in my daughter's education.

On the flipside, I took my son for a hearing test, as a workup for him going to speech pathology.  His hearing was perfect.  And he did the task very well.  He was asked to hear a sound and then drop a ball into a slot and watch it roll down the hole.  I have never seen him so interested and concentrating so hard.  I guess you just have to find what the right way to engage him is.  The audiologist said that my son was very good and had excellent concentration - I nearly thought, who is this child and where is my son?  My son still only has about 100 words, but he has been stringing 3 words together now but still has a lot of unintelligibility.  He understands what I'm saying and can do complex tasks like making breakfast and using the microwave when I tell him to.  I hope that he turns out ok as well.

The first week of school

It's that time, when your child first starts school.  It's an emotional time, parents and children cry, and the realisation that your child no longer needs you and is moving onto the next step in their life can be overwhelming for some.

However, there was no tears on our end.  I was anxious, mostly worrying that I would go the wrong room, or my daughter would soil herself and I didn't pack spare clothes... but it all seemed to go well.  She has the vice principal as her Kindergarten teacher, and he's quite dapper looking.  Fortunately, she likes him as well - she said to me he was nice and not scary.

I left her after a few minutes, talking to her teacher Mr M, and snuck out.  Well, at least she was talking to him.  I came back in the afternoon, and she was sitting on the floor with the all the other children, seemingly well behaved.  When I asked Mr M about her that day, he said that she was very quiet and asked about what language we spoke at home, and what cultural background we were.  Then he offered her special class - I think he wanted to know if I should put her in ESL (English Second Language) class!  But my daughter's first language is English, so if she went there, she wouldn't be able to understand anything! So that was a hilarious thing, my daughter was so bad that she was going to be put in ESL even though English is her primary and first language.

J, on the other hand, seemed to sail through daycare last week.  Not a tear, excited to be playing and joining in on everything.  However, this week, the realisation that he was being left behind sunk in and he cried when Dad said goodbye.  It was almost amusing - J was saying "Bye bye E" thinking that E was being left behind but then Dad said to him "No, it's bye bye J!" and then he started to cry.  So far, two days in a row he's cried.  E is on her 3rd day of school with no tears.  I think she really likes it there.

I asked E what she does at school, and she said she does activities, and there's dancing but she didn't dance. She seems to like the ham and cheese sandwiches we make her for lunch, which is good.  I worry that she isn't drinking enough - that will do wonders for her constipation ><  I'm just happy she eats her lunch.

J sleeps and eats at school with no issues.  In fact, he sleeps so well that he doesn't want to sleep at night!  Last night he was up still at 930pm and I was getting cranky with him. Sigh, you can't make day care NOT put him down for a nap.

So that's halfway through our first week.  Smooth sailing so far.

My morning surprise

I was trying to sleep in.  I didn't really want to get up before 530am.

But the kids had other ideas.  I tried to coax them back into bed but only my daughter was cooperating.

Hubby got up and called me to go downstairs to look at our son.  Grudgingly, I got up and headed downstairs to see what mess he had made now.

Sitting at the kids table, was my son, J.  He had his bowl, and was eating cocopops and milk.  There was another bowl, his sister's bowl, opposite him at the other side of the table, also with cocopops and milk and a spoon in it.  There was no cocopops and no milk in sight.  The cocopops was back in the cupboard and the milk was back in the fridge.  There was no spilled cocopops or spilled milk.

My clever little 3 year old son made his own breakfast and his sister's and then put it all away!

So cute :D  I was so proud!